And seriously, how can I already love her so incredibly much? I've heard mamas say that before but when you see that baby moving and kicking and putting her sweet little hands up to her face and knowing she's doing all of those wonderful things right inside of you, you just fall in absolute love. It is the closest thing to God we'll see this side of heaven - of that I am certain!
So a few details, just for posterity's sake...ever since our 16 week ultrasound where we got a "sneak peek" and the ultrasound tech said she was 96% certain it was a girl, I've been trying not to get too excited, because that little 4% still lingered and taunted me. But man, I was so hopeful she was right. Now obviously I would love a girl OR a boy, and of course we desired a healthy baby first and foremost, and I know for a fact that boys love their mamas (my husband is proof positive!) but there was this part of me that longed for a little girl. For a lot of reasons, really, but mostly because I cannot wait to have someone to shop with. And talk about boyfriends with over a glass of wine. And hopefully share shoes with, providing I pass along my great sense of taste. :) OK, those aren't the real reasons. I really just can't wait to have a daughter, period. One that will most likely have my sass, my husband's sweetness, and just be the perfect mix of the two of us in looks, mannerisms, and personality. I can't imagine seeing my child and saying "oh, she has my nose!" How fun!! The ole husband just isn't going to know what to do with himself. I have a feeling she already has him wrapped around her little finger. The way he talks to her at night, I can already tell. Talk about melting your heart...and I'm already a bit hormonal. I could cry just thinking about it.
OK, back to our appointment. Let's just say I was a not-so-hot mess this morning. As in a complete nervous wreck. My eyes popped open at 4:45 a.m. and I didn't have a prayer of getting any more sleep. I took advantage of the quiet time, said another prayer that we get a good report today, and tiptoed downstairs, turned on the news, and read in my Pregnancy Journal (sidenote: reading about what the baby is developing that week is truly one of my favorite things. I cannot get enough.) I could barely eat my Eggo waffle (don't judge, it was whole grain with blueberries) and as usual when I'm running behind, could barely put my hair in a quick ponytail before flying out the door for our 8:00 appointment. Mr. T is always on time and I never am and I'm sure it annoys him, but thankfully, he doesn't let it show. Usually. :)
We get to the doctor's office, and do our ultrasound first. Only my stomach is in knots from all the nervousness and I have to go to the bathroom. Well wouldn't you know the ultrasound tech came the minute I left and tells Mr. T she hopes I didn't empty my bladder, as that will help the ultrasound. Whoopsie. Thankfully, it had already refilled to her liking by the time we got back to the room, and that baby was kicking and squirming up a blue storm! It's crazy to see it on the screen and not be able to feel it inside. I'm so ready for that first big kick that says "Boom! Mom, here I am!" She was upside down and seemed to really like her position, as nothing could get her to move and show her sweet little face. Our tech got right down to business and did the gender shot first thing. Love her for that. Oh, it was music to my ears when she sang out "It's a girl" and pointed out the three lines I'd been hearing from friends were the sure sign of a female. I think I asked if she was sure and probably offended her by doing so, but I had to be certain, people! She went on to take all the measurements, pointed out all the major organs, measured the heart rate (148 this time) but honestly, as much as I love seeing all of that, I could not stop smiling just thinking we were really having a baby girl. :) She showed her a face for a nanosecond, yawned the most adorable yawn you've ever seen, (arms still up by her head - it seems to be her favorite position and one she gets from both her dad and me, that's exactly how we sleep) and then went back to nestling face down. Bless her heart, she'd had a big morning. We briefly met with the doctor afterward, who gave us an enthusiastic thumbs up after looking at her ultrasound, and said everything was measuring just right. All her organs and systems looked perfectly healthy. You don't even know how much that was music to our ears. I promise you I took in that moment and realized how incredibly blessed we are. And then I nearly skipped out the door, my heart nearly overflowing with happiness and sheer gratitude. :)
So now for the 20 week bumpdate:
Symptoms: Now that the nausea is completely gone, I feel like a brand new woman! I love the energy that comes with the 2nd trimester and honestly feel better than I ever have. I was having headaches for about a week or so, but thankfully, those have gone away too. I still have to tinkle all the time, but I suppose that is expected.
What's different: Let's get close here. "The girls" have grown so I had to go up a bra size - that's a difference I don't mind at all! :)
Cravings: Not nearly as many as I was having, though I do get a hankering for a dipped ice cream cone now that the weather is warming up. And let me just tell you, it is dangerous that Bobbie's Dairy Dip is so close to our house. Pregnancy + Hot Nashville Summer = More Trips for Ice Cream. Uh oh.
Aversions: Breakfast in general. I'm lucky to get a protein shake down. Working on it though.
Sleep: Oh I have major news to report in this category! Mr. T and I used a portion of our tax refund and splurged on a little happy for ourselves - a king size bed! We bought the frame at Ikea, a pillow-top mattress here in town, and are both loving all the extra space! Make room for the body pillow - it makes sleeping on my side so much easier! And eventually, make room for a little girl who can crawl between us. That thought makes me so very happy.
I am loving: The first (and hopefully only) pair of maternity skinny jeans I purchased the other day from A Pea in the Pod. They're actually pretty darn cute, and the belly panel makes wearing jeans so much more comfortable. Also, I kind of love that my pants no longer button with ease, so I'm wearing them with the top button undone and a belly band on top. Love that thing!
I really miss: Bikini shopping at Target. They WOULD have the cutest ones ever out right now. But I did bust out my black one-piece the other day to get some sun on the back deck, and instantly felt like a mom, which actually wasn't so bad. I just miss having a tan stomach. It's the end of an era, I suppose!
I am looking forward to: Decorating the nursery! I purchased the most perfect bedding on eBay for a whopping $99 (it retails for $400) and it will be delivered next week. We're also painting next weekend, and hopefully buying the furniture soon. There are just too many options out there on cribs, and being indecisive is not helping matters. Any suggestions, mamas?
I'm spazzing about: The fact I'm really having a girl. I cannot stop smiling.
Movement: Maybe a few tiny flutters here and there, but just when I get still enough to tune into it, it goes away. Like I said, she's a stubborn little thing and I guess she'll move when she's good and ready but man, I'm so ready for a big soccer kick! But Mr. T tells her every night, "That's okay, baby, you take your time." Sweetest thing ever.
And finally, the Belly Shot: Here's the bonified bump, in all it's glory! Definitely getting bigger by the day!
20 weeks down, 20 weeks to go. We're halfway there, people! Come on, 8/28!